I usually don't post in too much depth on here about what's running through my mind but I've got to get it all out. I feel like I'm barely hanging on somedays by a thread and life has been a constant juggle in so many areas of my life.
I want to be the best wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend but for some reason at moments I feel I'm failing or letting people down.
Maybe it's because Graysen and I both left the house this morning running late and forgetting things that we intended to each take with us and mark off our to do lists. Maybe it's because I have friends I haven't seen in weeks and I miss them so much and want to sit and have girl time. Maybe it's because my baby P's room is not completely finished and he's 2.5 months old, granted it's mostly done with the exception of adding a few touches! I have a new house that I want to make a home but we can't find the time to hang anythingon the walls because we are so exhausted by the end of the day. I haven't had time to shop for the new pieces of furniture and decor I want.
With all of the juggling of new motherhood, being a wife and support system to my husband and young Christian woman I'm striving to be I struggle and have my moments when I think, "How much longer can my body keep at this pace?"
Then I remember I have to let it all go and turn it over to HIM.
My house my not be in perfect tip top clean shape like I'd love for it to be. I might be running late to work one morning but that's the perk of being my own boss. I have friends that I'd love to enjoy a nice conversation with without having to hurry off the phone because I have a screaming baby or I'm trying to rush and do things because he's taking nap. But I hope they understand I still think about them. I hope my family knows that I'd drop anything in my juggle of life to take care of them.
All in all I'm blessed. I'm not writing to complain just to help me breath. I know I'll one day look back at this time in my life when I'm pulled in 4,346,232 directions and laugh, maybe wonder how I did it all or wonder how I added more to my plate. But the most important thing is I know God has me right where he wants me. He wants me to juggle it all and learn from this time in my life.
Isaiah 40:31
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
February 25, 2010
my daily juggle
Posted by Mrs. Southern at 4:26 PM
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7 comments:
I'm sure you are a wonderful wife, mother, sister, daughter, granddaughter, daughter-in-law, etc. Hang in there, I'm sure things will look up. I'll say a special prayer for you. :)
I anticipate feeling the same way soon...it's already starting really. Pass on any advice you have to feeling like you can keep your head above water.
That was one of my Nana's and Grandmother's favorite verses, as mine. :) Love ya girl!
I was feeling the EXACT same way tonight. I was almost in tears because I was so tired. Thanks for the great post and you are a ROCKIN' mommy, wife, friend, and Christian!
Check out...
http://mrsmessi.blogspot.com/2010/02/happy-101.html
I gave you a Happy 101 award :)
You need to give yourself a break. With a newborn that is only a couple months old your biggest priority should be taking care of him (and trying to get enough sleep). You are at a very unique stage of life that will pass before you know it. He will start sleeping more and so will you and you will have more time and energy to accomplish things. Just take a deep breath and remember that you have a beautiful little life changing miracle that needs his mommy not a perfectly decorated house! Hugs
I love how you expressed yourself. I feel the exact same way. Granted I'm not married nor do I have a baby, but I'm in school and work full time plus plannnig a wedding. I don't know how to do it sometimes. Then I remember how I need to let go and let God.
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